Cyberbilly
I won't say I did some terrible things last night, but Lindsay Lohan woke up on my couch and won't make eye contact with me.
Xyuppi
An airplane must be the scariest experience for someone with a peanut allergy.
Ever wondered, "What would happen if a marshmallow peep got hit by a train?" We did.
If you stole a cigarette from your dad and he made you smoke a whole pack while he watched, I hope he never caught you stealing a playboy.
I want to make a "Girls of Twitter" calendar but sadly most of them would most likely be men. :(
Just gave my two weeks notice at the Halloween store. Jerks didn't even seem upset.
I grew up with Motley Crue, Poison, Bon Jovi & Whitesnake. If I wanna see guys like that on TV nowadays, I have to watch RuPaul's Drag Race.