Thinking about moving to London so my other arm will get a tan too.
My dog ate a condom yesterday. Now try explaining THAT to the vet as it's hanging halfway out of his butt!
Agoraphobics love inside jokes.
"Kiss me," she said, "kiss me like you've never kissed me before." So I stuck my tongue in her nostril.
Trump has called Huntsman and Paul "joke candidates". All over the world, pots and kettles share a forgiving embrace.
The tribal tattoo is the male version of a tramp stamp.
Curiosity saw its shadow. Six more weeks of martian winter.