Obama says we can't afford the same political games right now. Invites GOP to play Battleship or Monopoly instead.
Every day I say a little prayer of thanks that no one I know can read my mind.
Finally had "the talk" with my daughter about the birds & bees. Hardest part was explaining the whips and handcuffs.
I got excited when I made this cute baby smile. Then she put it in perspective by giggling at the fat slob next to me when he burped.
Wife called and said she's bringing me a salad home from McDonalds...that's like going to a hooker for a hug.
I have a half brother....no seriously, he's a midget.
A critic is a legless man who teaches other people to run.