WTF Statuses

Without ME, it's just AWESO.
The only way I'm going to make a mark on the world is if I take a Sharpie to a globe.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Based on the amount of sugar and cream I put in my morning coffee, "melted coffee-flavored milkshake" is probably a better description.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream.
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
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