Pro tip: When your girl is talking, pay attention. For god's sake, you know there will be a test in the future.
So, 70% of our bodies are water. We drink water. We love to shower and swim. But if water falls from the sky, HOLY CRAP RUN AWAY!
Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.
Chinese take out owner Sum Ting So Wong was planning on making a surprise dinner for his girlfriend only someone let the cat out of the bag.
Here's a love poem, it's called, "Are You Getting Prettier or Am I Just Lowering My Standards?"
Today I saw a baby with a bib that said "This dumbass put my cape on backwards."
Good news is my daughter paid back the $3000 she owed me. The bad news is she gave it to me in singles that smell like whiskey & cigarettes.