To do list: Buy CD of ice cream truck music. Drive down the street blasting it. Watch kids get disappointed.
Hate mopping? Get a dog and sprinkle parmesan cheese on your floors.
I'm an exceptional mother of 1. Too bad I have 3.
My boyfriend got really excited when I brought handcuffs into the bedroom but after 3 weeks shackled to the bedpost the novelty has faded.
Credit cards are a nice little gimmick that lets you start at the bottom and dig yourself in to a hole.
I really need a nephew so I have an excuse to watch Sesame Street and play with these Ninja Turtles.
Getting run over by a truck hauling organic food will be the closest I get to dying of natural causes.