Church is one of the few places you get on your knees BEFORE a guy gives you wine.
David & Victoria Beckham named their baby 'Harper Seven' which is a fantastic name for a band or a Terminator model but maybe not for a kid.
Do you think young girl squirrels ever date sewer rats to piss off their dads?
Why rappers haven't done a song over the beat a car alarm plays is beyond me.
Do they make "Kiss the meth cook" aprons? I wanna get a housewarming present for the inbred rednecks moving into the trailer next door.
I just realized no matter how nice your father-in-law is, he'll always hate you a little for banging his daughter.
Heard someone talking about their "O" face. Immediately assumed they meant Oreos and chimed in proclaiming my love for double-stuffed. What?