Dear random person I waved at that looks like someone I know, Just humor me, please. Sincerely, this is freaking embarrassing.
A Grudge is a heavy thing to carry
Somebody just asked casually if i have a webcam, I can only assume they want to see my junk.
When Bill Gates's life flashes before his eyes, I hope it appears as PowerPoint presentation that employs every cheesy transition & effect.
Trouble brewing at Symphony Hall. It's the bottom of Beethoven's 9th, and the bassists are loaded.
I bet the dude that invented toast just burnt the bread and didn't want to tell anyone.
Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician