Just once in my life I'd love to properly make just the perfect amount of spaghetti for myself. Anyways, if you're hungry come on over. And bring like five friends.
ZYuppi
Why is there an eject button on the Blu Ray remote? I still have to get up and take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge door...
Xyuppi
Both teams at the Superbowl were playing like they know whoever wins goes to The White House.
They shouldn't have named it a baggage carousel if they didn't want me to ride it.
Going back to the gym is a lot like being born. I know it needs to happen and I can’t stay home forever, but I’m still gonna cry about it.
Xyuppi
I snuck popcorn into the movie theater but they won’t let me use their microwave.
Xyuppi
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't flick your friends out the car window