Insightful Statuses

I'm pretty sure most people who walk around with ear pods in aren’t listening to anything and just don’t want anyone to talk to them.

My dad always used to say, "The sky's the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.

I'm pretty sure all dogs can smell drugs. It's just that most of them aren't snitches.

No matter how many lasagna’s you stack on top of each other, ultimately it’s always just one lasagna

If you’re going Black Friday shopping, be a decent human being and turn your phone horizontal before you record any fights.

I just realized that if we drink enough wine, the adult's table will become the kid's table.

I often worry that mankind is going to start World War III soley because we enjoy trilogies.