Insightful Statuses

You don't truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.

For the suicidal, procrastination is a survival skill.

I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tire and then roll me down a hill. They were good years.

If you found your wife or husband on a dating website, it’s only romantic if it isn’t 3 years after you got married.

Necromancers are just healers with bad timing.

I knew I was going bald when it took longer and longer to wash my face.

Maybe the Mayan world-ending prediction in 2012 was more of a suggestion