When you're a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you're an adult, they're considered immature.
Xyuppi
I'm 99.9% certain that every time a sock goes missing in the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid
Xyuppi
I stayed up all night trying to remember if I had Amnesia or Insomnia.
Xyuppi
Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence?...... There's one marked "Brightness" but it doesn't work.
Swiss army knives are only like 8% knife.
Some of us live thousands of miles away from the majority of our relatives and can't be with them for the holidays. But don't be jealous.
How can they have a Facebook group called Facebookers Anonymous? That's like trying to hold a successful AA meeting in a bar.