If you step on someone's foot, they open their mouth just like trash cans.
Stalin should have known communism doesn't work. There were red flags everywhere.
The most powerful I ever feel is waving pedestrians to walk in front of my car. “Go forth, and trust that I will not kill you.”
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow, but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
It’s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it's fighting fire with fire!