Insightful Statuses

A German Shepherd named Rumor won the Westminster Dog Show. He will now be breed...aka spreading Rumors.
I hope I never go to jail because I haven't memorized a phone number since 2001
The human body is roughly 60% water. I'm not fat, I'm flooded.
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
Your bed is pretty much just a charger for your body
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
Whoever figured out the 'days of the month correspond with your knuckles' thing had too much time on their hands
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