Just farted what sounded exactly like an elderly woman yelling "Hai-ya!" through a mouthful of pudding.
At the worst 4th of July party. Only one hot chick and a bunch of screaming kids. Oh wait, I’m at home.
I stand outside of One-Hour Photo booths and sing "One day my prints will come" to pass the time away.
Want to see me spazz like someone with epilepsy? Lock me in a car with a mosquito.
Checking MySpace is like checking your underwear after a fart. There's probably nothing, but there's a slight chance it has something new.
Glow in the dark condoms. Now you see it. Now you don't.
Man, Facebook is slow tonight. I know it's not the connection. The porn is loading no problem.