If Batman and Robin were indeed "special friends", would that classify him as a Fruitbat?
I bet Lee Harvey Oswald always remembered where he was when Kennedy was shot.
I just saw a "Git-R-Done" bumper sticker on a Prius and I don't know what's real anymore.
I'm pretty sure that Animal from the Muppets is Elmo's long-lost, crackhead biological father.
A REALLY smart phone would have cut me off before I asked my wife "Have you been gaining weight?
Watching depression medication commercials makes me depressed. I'm just glad herpes commercials don't have the same effect.
Pizza jokes are all about delivery.