Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
A real man gives up one night stands for a woman he can't stand one night without.
If tomatoes are fruit, isn't ketchup technically a smoothie?
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
The internet: Where the inane and stupid go head-to-head with the passionate and misinformed!
We should be able to text 911, in case were hiding from a serial killer & don't want them to hear us.
I just realized no matter how nice your father-in-law is, he'll always hate you a little for banging his daughter.