Insightful Statuses

This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.

In America anyone can become president. That’s the problem.

I didn't see anyone important yesterday, so I'll probably wear these same clothes today.

Rest areas restroom are weird. The guy in stall next to me has four feet.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married.

I wish juice boxes were more socially acceptable.

As long as there is an open textbook in front of you, nobody will question what you are doing on your laptop.