Xyuppi
Why is it that the instant I buy new chap stick, the old one magically reappears?
Xyuppi
I am sure that wherever my ex-girlfriend is, she's looking down on me. She's not dead, just very condescending.
Xyuppi
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
Whats my favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills.
Over half the contacts in my phone are named “Do Not Answer”
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
Cyberbilly
If you answer the phone and say "Hello, you're on the air." most telemarketers will hang up quickly.