Insightful Statuses

You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.

I would like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.

I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.

Just saw a guy using a payphone. I can only assume he’s being told where to deliver the ransom money.

I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.

I'm allergic to bears. One bear bite and it's straight to the ER for me.

Thanks to the popularity of gifs, we are living in the golden age of silent films.