Xyuppi
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I'd never be bored again.
Xyuppi
My medic alert bracelet warns first responders that I kiss back during CPR
Xyuppi
First, Lady Gaga shows up at the VMA's covered in meat. Then arrives at the Grammy's in an egg. She's only about two red carpets away from being a Denny's Grand Slam.
Cyberbilly
Note to self: Next time, don't use "continue" as the Safe Word.
Xyuppi
When I die, I want a cellphone in my coffin...just in case
I Love you more than Kanye loves Kanye.
Cyberbilly
Now they are saying that the Zika virus is sexually transmittable. What kind of pervert is having sex with a mosquito?