Xyuppi
Ramen noodles will always taste like an empty bank account.
Xyuppi
If my superpower was to be able to stop time, I'd totally use it to take a nap without people noticing.
Xyuppi
Whenever I have a panic attack I put a paper bag over my mouth & once I'm done drinking the alcohol inside I feel a lot better.
Xyuppi
Sylvester Stallone is looking more and more like a G.I. Joe action figure that has been put in the microwave on high for 20 minutes.
Cyberbilly
I'm not a doctor but I know adding bacon to anything makes it an antidepressant.
Xyuppi
Ok body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the "energizing" claims. You're soap!
A midget fortuneteller broke out of the county jail. Police report there is a small medium at large.