Insightful Statuses

I'm still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.

I bought some ginkgo biloba to improve my memory, but I keep forgetting to take it.

Every time I see an armored truck I want to rob it, but what's worse is I feel the same way every time I see a Bud Light truck

I was bringing Sexie back but I lost the receipt so I only got a store credit.

There's no way to gracefully remove a jacket while wearing a seatbelt....

It is estimated that 1 Million people plan to gather at Times Square to watch the ball drop while looking down at their phones.

I'll never fly Virgin Airlines. Why would anyone want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way ?