Insightful Statuses

The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact that it’s my cellphone.

I wish I can start a new diet, but there's a bunch of old diets I haven't finish.

I dance like people wish they weren’t watching.

I wish I was a jedi, but mostly just so I didn't have to bend over to pick up dog poop.

As a kid, I had to be careful not to curse around adults. Now as an adult, I have to be careful not to curse around kids.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them