Every paper towel commercial just reminds me that the cleanest option is to just not have children.
I started carrying around a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful.
Does Whitmans make chocolates or is all they do is make these samplers. What if I want 1000 of one type of candy?
Xyuppi
"That's crazy" is the perfect response when you haven't been listening.
Xyuppi
A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
Xyuppi
Santa must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during hunting season?
Xyuppi
I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, Shark!" Somehow I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.