When I drive if you beep your horn 1 second after the light changes green I will shut off my car, lay on the hood & feed birds for an hour.
Ugly people with great bodies should be required to wear a sign on their back with a picture of their face on it.
A politician is the one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Wow... the media is hard on Weiner
Summer is my favorite time of year to be in Atlanta. The heat gives me a perfect excuse to stay inside and day-drink.
Last time I got up this early I was fishing with my Dad. We caught a sting ray and some flounder. He was a great dad, but even better bait.
Just saw a sign that said: free to a good home-young cat-speaks spanish. El meow-o?