Getting a life sentence in jail is like getting the death penalty but with the execution method being death by old age.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
[DOG MAGICIAN] Think of a color, any color...let me guess…is it...gray? [OTHER DOG] oh my God…how did you guess that?
I wonder if skunks can smell their own farts.
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.
I wish the Microsoft Paperclip would just pop up when I’m making a questionable decision for my life.
MSJ
I would like to see the new Steve Jobs movie, but know as soon as I do they will come out with a new one that is shot with a better camera and has a larger screen.