Picking a checkout line at Walmart is the new Russian roulette.
Andrew Cooper
If someone says they’re gonna open up a can of whoop ass, that means someone out there is canning whoop ass…I’d be more afraid of that second guy.
My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.
The first person to say the word cool must have been really cool because everyone started saying it.
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello”. My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact & hope it goes away.
It’s hard to trust humans. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.