The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
Sometimes the best thing about not caring, is knowing that the people who are angry with you are having a far worse day than you are.
I just want to find that special somebody to stare at my phone with.
Somedays I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running.
Fish out of water is a strange phrase because it's almost never used to describe someone dying.
Sometimes I just want to go where all the missing socks go.
If we elect Donald Trump president, there will be hell toupee.