Insightful Statuses

I bet the Hulk's wife got pretty good at pissing him off once she realized that EVERYTHING got twice as big when he turned green.
Ain't no mountain high enough... to keep me from getting to you, unless it's an actual mountain, cause screw that.
Condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she'll get your paychecks.
Didn't Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
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Novell
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
Do Starbucks employees take coffee breaks?
I know my job is secure because no one else wants it.
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