A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then, he's finished.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
My wife calls our waterbed the dead sea.
Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard in tin foil.
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I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
My next-door neighbors recently got divorced for religious reasons -- he thought he was God and she didn't.