Insightful Statuses

Relationship goals: a relationship

Kids today are so coddled - Elf on the Shelf, Toy Story. In my day, if dolls magically came to life, they murdered you and everyone you loved.

I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up!

I’m going to retire and live off my life savings. What I’ll do the second week, I have no idea.

Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.

Shaking my cell phone to "Auto-Rotate" the screen brings me back to my childhood playing with a "Etch A Sketch!"