Insightful Statuses

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.

My mother always told me as a child that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now as an adult I’m facing sexual harassment charges. Gee, Thanks mom!

The bottle of Pepto Bismol say’s 4 out of every 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one of them enjoys it?

I wish my car had two horns. One for “thank you” and one for “I hate you”

I always thought putting your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shhhhhh... Not another word" was super-romantic; apparently the judge didn't think so.

I was ridding a horse yesterday & got thrown off; I thought I was going to die. Thank goodness the Wal-Mart greeter saw what happened & ran over to unplug it...

If you ever go camping be sure to bring along someone who has a good camera and can take good pictures. Bigfoot obviously avoids people like this.