Insightful Statuses

Keep the dream alive! Hit the snooze button.
I don't understand why people pay therapists when I'll tell them what's wrong with them for free.
Charles Manson is engaged to be married at the age of 80. Think they're registered at Blood Bath & Beyond?
You call it beef jerky. I prefer the term "cow raisins"
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel crossing the street.
If you have a dog grooming business and didn't name it "Doggie Style" then something is seriously wrong with you.
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