Being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
If you robbed a kissing booth you'd make out like a bandit
Novell
My doctor told me I was actually shrinking. I said tell me what that means. He said I'd have to be a little patient.
Never trust a girl who doesn't fart. You never know what else she's holding back from you.
69% of people find something dirty in everything they read.
I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that'd work.