"I prefer a good cigar, and a bad woman."
will never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night again!
Please don't say you just had a newborn baby. If you say you just had a baby, the newborn part is assumed. Nobody thinks you just pushed a 12 year old out of your crotch.
When I kill a spider or any type of bug I always think its family and friends are going to come after me for revenge.
Free watermelon when you apply for a walmart credit card... I have no words
Hahaha I like!! RT @ibonvon: "STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS"
If @ first u d0n't succeed, redefine success....