Insightful Statuses

History repeats itself everytime you say that quote.

I remember back when MySpace was my favorite website to visit. Now it's not even in my top 8.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It's been on my keyboard all the time.

Roadside sobriety tests are getting ridiculous. Last night I had to fold a fitted sheet...

I feel so stupid for cashing in my retirement account early. But then I always feel stupid using the Coinstar machine

Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.