I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
My battery died so I spent so time with the family today. They seem like nice people.
I'm at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn't have to get up to pee.
Cyberbilly
Dear God: Please let Jerry Jones say something racist. -The Dallas Cowboys
I love you more than coffee, but not always before coffee.
I'm going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.