VSnake
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
VSnake
I get my cereal from a tiger, insurance from a gecko, toilet paper from a bear, financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.
If "The Shining" came out today, it would be two hours of Jack Nicholson browsing the internet.
You know you're lazy when you get excited about canceled plans.
I'm probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
Well, I've officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
The site of a woman's cleavage reduces a man's ability to think clearly by 50%...per boob...