Robert Zunick
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Amigo
Someone stole my wife's credit card but I didn't report it because he's spending less a month than she did.
Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.
The guy who used to proofread Hitler's speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
Aren't they Middle-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles now?
Amigo
There's a dumbass on your keyboard between the Y and I. Just look.
E.B. FlipShank
I'm going to safety pin a couple of dollar bills to my shirt tomorrow and see how many people give me a dollar. Not because it's my birthday; I just figure it's better than pole dancing.