Life tip #6: Don’t try to rollerblade on a treadmill. Trust me on this one.
Ordered clothes from Dick's Sporting Goods to be delivered to my work... Sounded like a good idea until a co-worker tells you that "a box of dicks showed up for you"
Robert Zunick
If I was born on December 17th, 1989 and I still had not hit puberty I would be pissed! My deepest sympathies to Bart Simpson!
I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
My life is a constant battle of preventing my muffin top from becoming a pound cake.
They say money talks, mine just waves goodbye.
Robert Zunick
Back in my dating days I was like the Yellow Pages, “Let your fingers do the walking.”