February is just nature's way of making sure we really appreciate Spring.
Robert Zunick
Founded June, 12, 1977, you would think Victoria's Secret has been revealed by now!
Robert Zunick
My internet dropped, so I went to reboot the router. My neighbor was pissed!
Robert Zunick
Having roses on your piano is good, but having tulips on your organ is grand!
Robert Zunick
The gall of some people! I'm sitting on the couch, in my briefs, watching TV, and eating pizza. Sam's Club security says, “Sir it's time to go!"
Wouldn't it be awesome if pregnancy tests read 'You're screwed' or 'Keep screwing'?
Amigo
I like to post ads on Craigslist. "IPhone 5s for $20!" Along with the number of people who annoy me...