Insightful Statuses

The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
I hate brushing my teeth at night. It signifies I can't have any more food and I'm never ready for that kind of commitment.
Based on the living conditions, I think Sochi thought they were hosting The Hunger Games instead of The Olympics.
If prisons let prisoners take their own mugshots, would they be called cellfies?
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Amigo
I don't know what's longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
Does the Lego movie come with a disclaimer "Some assembly required"?
Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong.
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