At this point I'm guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
I quit my job at the helium factory today. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
Ok body wash, unless you're caffeinated and drinkable, you can cool it with the "energizing" claims. You're soap.
I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
Miley Cyrus could never live in the kind of cold we're having here. Can you imagine all the poles her tongue would get stuck to?
Facebook birthdays are a great reminder to unfriend people who's birth you could have lived without.
Benjamin Uke
If I ever get a puppy I'm going to name it "Grandma" because I can't think of a better word to yell in the woods.