I can't face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
At what point does a muffin top become a busted can of biscuits?
Note to self: the wife does not want an 'exercise pole'.
I'd like to be a nudist but we just don't have the weather for it
My horoscope says I will meet the woman of my dreams today. Not sure how my wife will take the news but I'm pretty damn excited.
I force my dog to watch animal abuse commercials just to show him how good he has it.
Had to talk with my son about masturbation today...I explained that it is natural, and he should probably knock before he comes into my room from now on.