Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always like to write: "Last warning, you have a week to get the rest of the money together."
Cyberbilly
Houston, we have a problem. Never mind. It's nothing. You know what the problem is. Are you listening me me? Fine. -First woman on the Moon.
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 9 years in a row now...
It would suck to be a cop on a police horse because when you arrested a guy he'd have to wrap his arms around you until you got to the station.
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
If you're gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
Don't kiss anyone on January 1st. It's only the first date.