When a girl says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, remember that she's using the same time scale a guy uses when he says there are 5 minutes left in the game.
I'm gonna start a band called the "Sigmund Freuds". The drummer is gonna have phallic cymbals.
I wonder if birds look at planes and think "man, I've really got to hit the gym"
Gift cards: The best way to say "Here, you figure it out..."
Home Alone 4: How Does This Keep Happening? Child Protective Services is Going to Take Your Son From You!
Cyberbilly
If one of Santa's helpers takes a picture of himself in the mirror, is it an Elfie?
The day Facebook shows how many times we have viewed someone's profile we are all screwed!