Insightful Statuses

The phrase "Go see your Ford dealer" means something completely different in Canada than the United States.
Someone just told me to "have a good morning". Why doesn't that jerk care about the rest of my day?
I can't wait to get one of those self-driving cars to watch my wife argue with it.
Hey Blockbuster, remember when I said you'd never get that $5 late fee? I win.
This economy sure has me on a tight budget. I gotta start cutting even more corners. Anybody know where I can get some reusable toilet paper?
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Michael Mendoza
I always found it funny that Professor X, from X-Men, had the power to move anything with his mind. Except his legs...
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Amigo
November is like the Thursday of the year.
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