*Shifty eyes* Im gonna hide my number and stalker text my mother…nah thats cruel she’s old *scrolls through my phone for my aunt*
Some people u know were dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
i was taking a shower when my mom told me i had my clothes on.
Is it considered sexual assault if a midget walks up to you and says you hair smells nice?
I wish you could Google anything. Like, "Where the fuck is my phone?" and it would be like, "It's under the couch dumbass."
Ever wondered, "What would happen if a marshmallow peep got hit by a train?" We did.
i love google, it comes up with things like this, 'Never deck her with an unwrapped pecker.'