I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
Okay, I'll just say it. It's been bugging me for a while now, and I need to get it off my chest… it was me… I let the dogs out.
If, at any point, you stopped for Hammer Time, I think it is now safe to restart.
At my funeral I'm going to have a Sharpie chained to the coffin so friends can draw one last dick on my face
Lord Voldemort doesn't have friends. He has followers. That's why he is on Twitter and not Facebook.
I gotta quit bloody sharting when I laugh
It smells like a stripper in the office